2022 Clambake Society Scholarship! Winner!! Liana! Teter!

Congratulations to Liana Teter, the winner of the $3,000 2022 Clambake Society Scholarship!!

Among other highlights, she was concerned she may not have cared about bowling soon enough. It’s a terrible shame when it happens, but we’ve all been there. Not caring about bowling soon enough. There’s actually a subreddit about it. Left as an exercise for you to find but please don’t find it because this is a joke or is it, yes it is, definitely.

Unrelatedly here’s our new Mastodon account.

Congratulations to 2020 Clambake Society Scholarship winner Maile Llanos!

Congratulations to Maile Llanos on the occasion of winning the 2020 Clambake Society Scholarship! The speech was excellent, the mistake, interesting, and Ellis Island was a nice touch. All in all, exactly the kind of thing we were looking for this year! This post was backdated because things have been crazy this year, and we hope everything went well the rest of the school year for you, and all the other 2020 RHS graduates and applicants. No one deserves to have a pandemic mess with your senior year, or any year, like this, and you handled it with grace and courage.*

* as far as we can tell from far away. don’t think too hard about it. seriously congrats and good luck

How the Clambake Society Scholarship is Responding to the Coronavirus

At the Clambake Society Scholarship, we take your health seriously. In all likelihood, nothing we do will make the slightest bit of difference to your health, but we take your health seriously, because, you know, it’s scary out there. So we wanted to let you know what precautions we’re taking to protect your health and that of your loved ones:

  • we have no office
  • you should not try to visit us
  • our members are observing limitations on large group gatherings by 1) being a group of not that many people, and 2) not gathering
  • if we experience symptoms like fever or shortness of breath, we will still mostly not be anywhere near you
  • as always, if you need to transact business with us, you may do so online
  • ** although it’s unclear whether our future winner will be attending college in person this fall, our scholarship selection and gifting process will continue unchanged. if the winner is unable to attend their chosen school this fall, we will be happy to wait a year, and possibly more if there are extraordinary circumstances, to send their check. **

Stay safe out there, everybody.

Fundraiser! The Awesomeness Returns!

Tomorrow! The moment you’ve all been waiting for! The Awesomeness Returns! After years of focusing 80% of our time on Betterment, 17% on Edification, and 4% on Unknown*, we’re bringing the Awesomeness back!

Clambake Society Scholarship Fundraiser Dinner!
6 PM Saturday June 9 at Rhinelander Country Club!

Described much more ably and promptly on our Facebook event page, so check that out! Probably goes without saying, but the people who have RSVPed yes on the Facebook event are a small fraction of those who will be there!

Great food! Confirmed silent auction items valued at over $2500, including a WXPR day sponsorship (!!), a 2 hour tattoo sitting (!!), tons of awesome food items, and a full week’s (!!) vacation (!!) at a Gulf Shores condo (!!). And there will probably be more last-minute stuff we don’t even know about yet! A didgeridoo? A cabbage? Advanced gene-splicing equipment? We don’t know! You’ll have to show up to find out!

* percentages don’t total to 100 due to rounding

2018! Winner!

Announcing! The 2018 winner of the Clambake Society Scholarship is Colton Krueger! The first future college athlete we’ve selected (as far as we were told, anyway!) (football at Hillsdale!), the creation he wrote about was also in the area of athletics! Frisbee baseball looks fun all around, but the diagram is what really sold us. Congratulations to Colton and since we’re posting this well after his first year at college was done, we hope he had a great first year!

2018 Scholarship Season! Is over!

Thanks for another great year, everybody! Lots of good applications, and the choice between the final three was pretty tough! Winner to be announced RHS Scholarship Night as usual!

Fun fact about exclamation points! Our second application, in 2008, featured these “questions”:

  • Write a mundane anecdote and make it exciting through the magic of punctuation!!!
  • How many exclamation points have you written or typed in the past year?

The winner’s answer to the latter question included the line “I believe that exclamation points should only be used in extreme cases where they are warranted, such as losing a limb or buying a new car.” At the time, that was pretty close to The Clambake Society’s official position. But things change a lot in a decade, and we now believe the only sentences that don’t deserve exclamation points are the boring ones. Think about it. Thinking emoji.